“I really think I can’t see the positive even though I know that I have good things in my life. My brain just goes to the negative and I think about problems that may be coming up. It seems that I am in a cycle”.
This was a client that I worked with some six months ago who voiced an issue that many people have. She was not clinically diagnosed with any condition and she was not on any medication. However, she said that at points she had low moods though they lifted the next day and she “got on with life”. Having asked about her medical and past social history of experiences, it was clear that this was an issue that was not impeding her life, but it was affecting her quality of life.
Many people sadly experience this type of thought process – a form of mental filtering towards the negative. It is nothing to be ashamed about and it is important to be able to voice such concerns with loved ones, or with counsellors and therapists, since shame, guilt and self-blame simply compound the issue and also add to low moods.
It is important to remember that our minds work in a certain way. They work from experiences that have happened to us, perceptions that we form over time, things that key people have said to us when we were growing up and patterns of behaviours that we exhibited early in our life as a way of ‘surviving’ or ‘fitting in’. In other words, our brains work on a daily basis through patterns that reflect these past events which have been tried and tested over time. The problem is that some of these thoughts and behaviours that we have become used and accustomed to, may not be helpful in later points in our lives. Allied to this is the fact that the limbic system which manages our long term memory, emotional and stress responses, is a key and integral ‘older’ part of our brain and has developed over millions of years to keep us safe. This also means that in keeping us safe, our brains naturally work in the background, much like an automatic virus checker in a computer, ensuring that we remain safe in a potentially unsafe world, where today there are different types of stressors.
Additionally, if we take on this perspective, our brains are therefore always subtly scanning for risk whilst we remain in the conscious world during the day. Therefore, if someone has been through life experiences which may have been difficult or troubling, their brain may well have become hyper-sensitized to risk and thereby slants the individual towards looking at life through the lens of having to overcome obstacles or of another problem potentially coming round the corner. It is therefore understandable that my client had started to view life through that lens. It was also understandable that in thinking and feeling that there were obstacles that could come up and with these thoughts recurring in her mind, that her mood was affected. This form of mental filtering towards the negative, sometimes with catastrophising, is called a cognitive distortion.
There are a number of ways of reducing these cognitive distortions though they need time and a commitment from the individual who is affected. They need a form of positive mental and emotional self-investment, a realisation that a change in mindset can happen, is possible and achievable; that just because difficult situations happen, they do not need to be viewed as a catalogue of problems, or ‘another thing that goes bad in my life’. Difficult things happen, but life also throws up many joys in the day, with sometimes the smallest of things that can bring joy to us. It is about recognising this, embracing it, and really holding those small positive moments of joy, colour, vibrancy or company that we are blessed with. By doing so, this is also a form of acceptance, of resetting what is important to individuals and in raising their capacity to see joy and goodness in the world.
So what are the things that can help to reduce cognitive distortions like negative mental filtering? Firstly, stress reduction can really help. Anything that adds significant stress, such as smoking, drinking high quantities of coffee or caffeinated colas need to be reduced or ideally, removed from their lifestyle. Things like meditation and mindfulness can really help, by allowing the individual to have the space to realise that the brain is going through an old pattern that can be changed over time and that the person has ultimate control over this. Sometimes this basic awareness can help to reduce the strength of the emotions that may be thrown up by the negative thoughts, especially if they are self-deprecating.
Other things that can help include taking up exercise, building a circle of friends and ensuring that there is regular communication with them. This person to person connectivity is important for us as a species. Also, listing the pattern of negative thoughts and reasons and facts that challenge the negative thoughts and which resonate well with the individual, are another way of helping to chip away and reframe thinking over time. This also needs to be practised regularly. Positive visualisation can also help and this involves taking some 10-20 minutes out of the day to find a quiet space in which someone can close their eyes, and visualise a safe, warm and comfortable place that they have been to. It could be anywhere in the world that they have visited. Visualisation is another technique that helps in giving positive meaning and in strengthening positive feelings.
Lastly, therapy and counselling can really help and depending on commitment, people can see real benefits in a short period of time. Finally, it is important to remember that we are the drivers of change. This means that we can also change the way that we see the world externally, whilst also changing the way that we experience negative thoughts or feelings. We may not be able to wholly erase the latter, but therapy can certainly reduce the impact of them on daily life.
